Sometimes Clients Ask
And it’s an excellent question.
And the answer is no. Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets just happen to be one of my favorite ways to identify stressful thoughts to work.
But there are many other ways. For example:
- You can pick any random stressful thought to work.
- You can pick a motive to question in any situation.
- You can make a list of fears to question.
- You can make a list of reasons why you don’t like someone or something.
- You can make a list of things you’re ashamed of, and question your beliefs around them.
- You can even question positive thoughts.
Basically, You Can Question Anything
And I like to give my mind the freedom to write down any thought to question, without censoring, and even without trying to fit it into a particular format like the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.
But the more I do The Work, the more I find that the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet is usually the perfect tool for uncovering my stressful thoughts to question.
For Example, Shame
When I make a list of things I’m ashamed of, I often find that these things happened in specific situations. And often I’m judging what others will think of me.
That’s actually a perfect situation for a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. Line 1: “I’m worried about him because he would reject me if he knew.”
Or I might be judging someone, even God, for tricking me into doing something wrong. Those are JYNW’s: Line 1, “I’m angry at my friend because he pressured me into doing it.” Or Line 1: “I’m angry at God because He gave me no choice.”
So Even When I Start With Random Thoughts to Work, I Often End Up Working A JYNW
And the reason for this is simple. Most stress comes down to feeling victimized. And to feel victimized, I must be blaming someone or something.
That’s what the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet is all about. Capturing those blaming thoughts on paper. The worksheet does this very thoroughly.
That’s why using the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet is my favorite. Even though it’s not the only one I love.
If you’d like to explore more ways to go from a general feeling of stress to writing a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, you might enjoy my e-book, Finding the Door to Inquiry: How to Discover a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet in Any Situation.
Have a great weekend,
Todd
“After my life changed in 1986, I spent a lot of time in the desert near my home, just listening to myself. Stories arose inside me that had been troubling mankind forever. Sooner or later, I witnessed every concept, it seemed, and I discovered that even though I was alone in the desert, the whole world was with me. And it sounded like this: “I want,” “I need,” “they should,” “they shouldn’t,” “I’m angry because,” “I’m sad,” “I’ll never,” “I don’t want to.” These phrases, which repeated themselves over and over in my mind, became the basis for the six sets of queries on the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet. The purpose of the Worksheet is to help you put your painful stories and judgments into writing; it’s designed to draw out judgments that otherwise might be difficult to uncover.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is, p. 17.
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