The Work Byron Katie Is about Questioning Stressful Thoughts
In “The Work 101 with Todd” course, we look at a number of different ways to identify stressful thoughts in order to question them. The most common way to identify thoughts to question is by filling in a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.
But there are other ways of identifying stressful thoughts that are also valuable to explore. Once you’ve identified the thoughts that are bothering you, you can start questioning those thoughts using the four questions and turnarounds of The Work.
Let’s look at a useful way to identify stressful thoughts.
Look at your Expectations
In a particular situation, you may be experiencing stress because your expectations are not matching reality.
So to do The Work, simply write down your expectations about your particular situation and question them.
For example, maybe you were expecting to receive an inheritance. Or maybe you were expecting to have a relaxing vacation. Or maybe you were expecting to finish the project quickly.
The Moment you Notice the Stress, you Can Look for your Expectations
Maybe someone was late and you got upset. What were you expecting? Write it down.
- I was expecting them to show up on time.
- I was expecting to get started on time.
- I was expecting to finish on time.
- I was expecting to spend the evening relaxing.
- I was not expecting to work overtime.
Expectations Are Basically Wants, Shoulds, and Needs
I find that it’s more powerful to express my expectations in terms of “I want…”, “they should…”, “I need…” For example:
- I want them to show up on time.
- I want to get started on time.
- I need to finish on time.
- I want to spend the evening relaxing.
- They shouldn’t make me work overtime.
Then I can question each these stressful thoughts using the four questions and turnarounds of The Work. If you are new to The Work, you can learn more about the four questions and turnarounds here: “The Work of Byron Katie“
Have a great weekend,
Todd
“If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, “Meow.” Wanting reality to be different than it is is hopeless. You can spend the rest of your life trying to teach a cat to bark.” Byron Katie, Loving What Is
Get two new articles about The Work of Byron Katie every week, plus my checklist for the Judge-Your-Neighbor-Worksheet. Subscribe to the newsletter here.
If you like this article, feel free to forward the link to friends, family or colleagues. Or share the link on Facebook or other social media. If you have thoughts you’d like to share about it, please leave your comments below.
