Feeling Good Is My #1 Motive In Life
But I’ve been considering what my life would be like without that motive. And I invite you to do the same.
I’m noticing these days that I don’t care so much if I’m experiencing a good feeling or a bad feeling. It’s becoming less important to me.
One hour I’m feeling good about a nice session with a client. The next hour I’m feeling a headache. And I’m not seeing so much of a difference between these two experiences.
What Would My Life Be Like If I Didn’t Care About Feeling Good?
For one thing, there would be a lot less complaining.
Also, I would not be driven to make a living. I’d just make a living. It feels more generous that way too, when feeling good (safe, successful, affluent) is not my motive. The word selfless comes to mind.
Also, I wouldn’t be obsessed with my health. Sure, I’d take care of myself, but I wouldn’t mind when the signs of aging continue to show up. I would be patient with my health. No need to change it, just changing what I had time to change. I’d be freed up to use my life in the best ways I can find, instead of trying to preserve it for “someday.”
Similarly, I wouldn’t be obsessed about fixing my emotions. Even doing The Work would be a luxury to me, not a necessity. I’d feel no pressure to get any insights. It would just be open.
And I wouldn’t care about ego boosts when people approve of me. Just as I wouldn’t care if they degrade me. It’s just my attachment to feeling good that makes me attracted and repulsed by these.
Even meditation would be just a quiet time, with no goal of nirvana-like bliss, or attachment to it when it comes.
The Funny Thing Is I’d Be Feeling Better All Around
It would be a more neutral place to live. After all, what makes me feel bad? Not getting what I want is what makes me feel bad.
No wonder my life is black or white: I either get what I want (feel good) or I’m miserable for not getting what I want (feel like a failure). There’s no middle ground.
This feels so artificial. What if I could just enjoy my life as it is served up for me? And participate in it without the motive to feel good, or to improve my lot. The experience I’m having as I think of it now is contentment, balance, tolerance, freedom, peace.
Have a great weekend,
Todd
“The Work allows you to go inside and experience the peace that already exists within you.” Byron Katie, Loving What Is
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