Many Times I’m Not Believing My Thoughts One Hundred Percent
So it’s easy to think, “I don’t need to do The Work. I can see through this.”
But The Work is not for the larger part of me that can see through it. The Work is for the little devil sitting on my shoulder whispering, “Don’t fall for that spiritual B.S.”
A Client Brought This Up For Me Recently
We were working on some guilt he had about being the one who had to make a tough decision about whether to go for a lung transplant at the last hour for his mother, or not.
For a number of valid reasons, he decided not to. But the guilt persisted.
We were working the stressful thought, “I killed my mother.” He found that, with the thought, it was very stressful. And without the thought, he was peaceful. And he found many examples of the turnaround, “I did not kill my mother.”
For example, she smoked for years, she didn’t do what the doctors told her to do, she resisted going to the hospital, etc.
These Were All Good, Valid Examples
And they helped start the shift. But my client put it vividly when he said that it’s like there’s a little devil on his shoulder that is not yet satisfied.
So I invited the “little devil” to have his say. Its point was that my client was still the one who made the final decision. And it wasn’t going to let him get away with it, no matter how much his mother had actually caused the problem.
This Led To Another Turnaround
The turnaround was “I killed my mother, and it was the right thing to do.”
As soon as he found it, there was a shift. The little devil was satisfied that my client was owning it. And from there, my client could open to see the good in that decision.
My client’s whole purpose in making the decision was to minimize the suffering. And the doctors confirmed later that they also thought it was the right decision.
Through this work, my client owned it fully–all sides of it–and could move on.
That’s The Value of Listening to The Little Devil
If you don’t, it will keep on hounding you. It will discredit all your other examples. It will make a mess of your work.
That little devil is the one that’s not letting you have your peace. And it’s not going away.
So why not listen to it?
It may have a point. And when you question it, it may lead you to a deeper truth that satisfies all sides.
Have a great week,
Todd
“Secrets cry out for inquiry. You can’t be free if you’re hiding. And in the end, the things we’re ashamed of turn out to be the greatest gifts we have to give.” Byron Katie, I Need Your Love, Is That True?
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