Exposing Yourself Can Be Scary
That’s why the mind sometimes resists doing The Work. Even just writing down the stressful thoughts can seem scary at first. It seems more comfortable to stay in denial.
But is that true?
When you look at it, staying in denial could very well be the only pain there is! Stress thrives in semi-darkness. And that’s why for me, exposing my stressful thoughts to the light of inquiry turns out to be freeing.
But There’s Often a Hurdle to Overcome
I still face it from time to time when I consider doing The Work on areas of my life that are still confusing for me. Those areas are where my mind resists inquiry. I don’t want to look too deeply there.
And that’s okay, it just means I’m not ready to do inquiry on that subject yet. I’ll check back later.
But there’s also a part of me that’s often willing to face the challenge. That’s the part I want to nurture.
How to Make It Safe?
For me, safety when doing The Work comes from several places.
1. Experience that exposing myself in the past has only resulted in greater freedom.
2. Working with others who are also exposing themselves. This helps a lot with feeling safe, and it’s also helpful for when I get stuck in inquiry.
3. Working with facilitators that aren’t trying to fix me. The Work is my way of exploring, and I need to feel free to go anywhere with it. If my facilitator is pushing for me to “break through,” then I feel that pressure and conclude that I’m “less than” for having crazy thoughts. But if my facilitator is just holding that open space for exploration, then I feel safe.
4. Confidence in The Work itself. The Work is not about exposing myself and then ridiculing myself, or being ridiculed. It is about allowing my honest truth to come out one layer at a time: first stressed and crazy, then turned around and sane. At no point is ridicule a part of it. And I’m in control at every step. That’s why it’s safe for me to expose myself.
5. Questioning the scary thoughts can also help. You can literally write down your resistance thoughts to doing The Work and question them. “Others will be disgusted with what I wrote on my worksheet, is that true?” Or “They will pull away from me, it that true?” By questioning these kinds of thoughts, you may find that it’s safer than you think to expose yourself.
I Encourage You to Cross the Hurdle
Your mind may always tell you that it’s unsafe. But it may actually be unsafe only from that stressed point of view. If you want freedom, I invite you to step into what seems unsafe, and find out for yourself.
There are many safe places to do The Work. One of my favorites is private sessions.
Have a great week,
Todd
“There is nowhere you can travel where inquiry won’t safely hold you.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is.
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