But Let’s Say You Wanted to Work More Than Your Self-Judgment
Questioning self-judgments is great. But in my experience, the most powerful way to do The Work is to question my judgments about others.
So how do you write a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet when you’re just feeling frustrated that you’re not good enough? There’s no one else to blame.
It seems like the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet doesn’t fit in this case.
But Are You Sure?
Have you looked for any hidden players?
One way to find those hidden players is to ask yourself, “Who am I trying to please?” This idea is covered in detail in my new book, Finding the Door to Inquiry.
But the idea is pretty simple. All you need to remember is the question, “Who am I trying to please?”
I Used it When Questioning, “I’m Not Living Up to My Full Potential”
If you ever see the YouTube video of me doing The Work with Byron Katie on “I’m not living up to my full potential,” you’ll see her basically asking me who was I trying to please. She invited me to write Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets on all the people who had high expectations of me.
This was mainly my mother and father.
When I did this after my session with Katie, I found that my parents didn’t actually expect me to do anything extraordinary. They simply loved me and wanted the best for me.
Finding this eased my internal pressure to perform at a peak level, and allowed me to be myself.
The JYNW’s on Mother and Father Were Key
If I had only worked the self-judgment, “I’m not living up to my full potential,” I would have missed the real source of pressure for me… believing that my parents were expecting me to be more successful than I was.
So I invite you to use this question on yourself, “Who am I trying to please?” It can reveal some excellent Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets that may not be obvious at first.
Have a great weekend,
Todd
P.S. If you want to get in an easy habit of doing The Work once or twice a month, I invite you to become a Premium Client.
“People often say to me, ‘Why should I judge my neighbor? I already know that it’s all about me.’ I say, “I understand. And please trust the process. Judge your neighbor and follow the simple directions.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is p. 13.
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