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The Work Is Not About Changing Your Personality

If you’re a horse, you’re probably always going to want to run. Why would you try to change that?

The Work Is Not About Changing Your Personality

People think The Work is about changing yourself. But it’s not.

The Work is about finding ways to love what is. “What is” includes what is around you as well as what is closest to you: your body, your personality—even your thoughts.

The Work is not about changing anything. It is the opposite of trying to change yourself. It is a way to come home to the way you happen to be today and to find the good in it.

The Work is about peace, not change.

“I Should Be Different” Is Stressful

“I should be different” is no different than “He or she should be different.” Both are arguments with reality. That is what makes them stressful.

If you think you will do The Work and be a better person, your motive to change yourself will end up causing you more stress. You will judge yourself and your work, and you will put pressure on yourself. My suggestion: don’t do it. It’s a trap. It’s the old way we’ve all been doing forever. It doesn’t lead to peace.

It is self-help in disguise.

Self-Help Can Increase Stress

When I say self-help, I mean “Get fit,” “Make more money,” “Be successful,” “Lose weight,” “Make friends and influence people,” “Be nicer,” “Be bolder,” etc. There are thousands of books written to feed these addictions to improve ourselves. And while they can be very useful, they are not interested in unconditional peace.

With self-help and all kinds of problem-solving techniques, peace only comes when you are successful. With The Work, peace is available without any change at all. That is freedom.

Spiritual Teachers Have Been Talking About It Forever

The pathless path. The kingdom within. The goal that is present in every step.

This is what The Work points towards. And as you use The Work, you may find that peace does not depend on anything at all, not even on The Work. It is always available for the taking.

You can even be peaceful when you have more stressful thoughts left to question. Loving what is literally means loving what is.

But Wanting Change Is Not Incompatible with Peace

The more you love what is, the more open-minded you become. You start to love even your self-help thoughts, the ones that push you to strive for improvement. Peace can be had even when trying to lose weight, or make money, or be successful.

Those self-help thoughts are also part of what is. And while I often question thoughts like, “I want to be successful,” many times I don’t. I trust my stress to tell me what needs to be questioned and what does not.

That way I am always a work in progress, interested in something “better,” but not caring if I ever get there because I’m perfectly okay as I am. That’s all there ever is to peace.

Join us for a virtual retreat and start the heart-opening process of self-inquiry with us.