Close this search box.

The Mirror Principle

A mirror of any kind will expand your field of vision.

Why Would You Want to Use a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet?

Wouldn’t it be easier to simply write down any stressful thought and start questioning it with the four questions and turnarounds of The Work? Why go to the extra trouble of writing a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet?

This question is especially valid since it’s not always obvious where to find a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet in some situations. Let’s see why writing a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet is worth the effort.

An Analogy May Help

Let’s say you want to improve your skin. Maybe you’re a teenager getting ready to go out on a date. What do you do?

You check in the mirror.

A quick glance in the mirror gives you the whole picture of your face. You can scan for any obvious blemishes, and do something to make them look a little less imposing.

But This Would Be Difficult Without A Mirror

You’d have to judge your readiness using your less subtle sense of touch. You’d have to run your fingers over your skin to “see” what’s going on. The tightness or bumpiness of your skin might give a clue. Or the localized tenderness that teenagers know so well.

But you’d still be guessing without a mirror. For example, you feel some tenderness but maybe the pimple does not show. How would you know without a mirror?

And if you put some kind of cream on your blemish, there’s a good chance you could leave it looking blotchy, or very obvious, without a mirror.

It’s just too hard to see without a mirror. And it’s too easy to miss something completely. After all, maybe you’ve got an eyelash on your cheek! Do you really want to go out looking like that?! 🙂

In the Same Way, It’s Difficult to Do The Work Without a Mirror

Many of us want to do The Work on ourselves. We want to question thoughts like, “I don’t fit in,” “I’m depressed,” “I wish I had more money,” “I’m a failure.”

But this is like trying to judge the status of your face without looking in the mirror. Without a mirror, your thoughts about your face are very general. For example, “I don’t look good”. What does that actually mean?

They involve guesswork.

Careful observation is not so easy when you’re not looking in a mirror.

Likewise The Work “In General” About Yourself Is Often Much Less Potent Than The Work About Another Person in a Specific Situation

A general thought about yourself might be, “I don’t fit in.”

It’s huge–almost unlimited in it’s scope-and very intimidating because it’s so general. You just “know” it’s true. It’s hard to get a handle on a stressful thought like this. And therefore it’s more difficult to question it and to turn it around.

But compare this to questioning the angry and hurt thoughts that pop like popcorn in the moment that you find out that someone didn’t invite you to a party. It’s the same subject matter, “I don’t fit in.” But now you’re using a mirror.

The Person You Are Judging Becomes Your Mirror

He or she draws out the specific stressful thoughts from inside you like magic. Now you know exactly how your mind works in this kind of situation. There’s no guessing. And you can now do The Work on the real thoughts that arise, not on your generalized conceptions of who you think you are (the kind of person that does not fit in).

You’ve got an actual situation, with a real offender. And it’s able to show you your mind with crystal clarity. All you have to do is write down your stressful thoughts in that moment on the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.

Just like the teenager looking in the mirror, you suddenly see several specific areas to address. There’s no guesswork. “There’s a spot by my nose. Another one healing on my chin. And some almost unnoticeable little bumps on my forehead.”

This kind of direct observation is straightforward and easy to do.

Get specific training in how to use the mirror principle in your work by taking The Work 101 course.