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Stressed, Happy or Neutral?

Leaf on Water
Waves are either up (crests), down (troughs) or calm (flat).

When Stressed, the Mind Craves Happiness

It’s natural to for the mind to want happiness when it’s feeling stressed. But strangely enough, when doing The Work, happiness may not actually be the goal.

For me, The Work is about balance. Swinging from one extreme (stress) to the other extreme (happiness) does not feel like balance to me.

That’s like going from depression to drug use and back again. There’s no stability in swinging from one extreme to the other.

It’s Like, “I’m Poor, So I Should Make a Million Dollars”

What’s wrong with just making $100? Why does it have to be a million dollars? It’s just the mind swinging again.

The Work invites something different in my experience. For me, The Work is about finding the balance point between two extremes in any situation.

I call it peace.

It is neither stressed, nor happy. It is neutral. It is a feeling of freedom. A state so open that I can even “look forward” to the worst again.

And That’s How I Like to Do The Work – Without a Motive

If my motive in doing The Work is to get happy, or to get enlightened, or to get healthy. If my motive is to fix myself in any way, then I miss this subtle place called peace.

I’m too interested in happiness to find peace. I’m doing things the old way: trying to change things (even myself) in order to get from stressed to happy.

​I invite you to leave off that natural desire for just a moment while you do The Work. And do The Work simply for the sake of finding the balance point between “I want” and “I don’t want.” The quiet place between the two extremes of happiness and stress.

For me, that is the most satisfying way to do The Work. I prefer calm water over “up and down” waves any day.

Have a great week,
Todd

“I answer the questions, the truth is realized within me, and the doing meets the undone, the something meets the nothing. In the balance of the two halves, I am free.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is.

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Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.