It’s easy to be peaceful in some settings, but can you be peaceful even when you’re being challenged?
How to Make Peace with Anything
Have you ever wanted to make peace with someone, or something, in your life but found it difficult to do?
This is especially hard when the other side is not budging. I’m often much more willing to give a little if the other side is also willing to compromise in order to make peace. But what happens when someone, or when life itself, offers no compromise?
Is Peace Still Possible?
Making peace with anything is the simplest thing in the world. It requires only one action: letting go. But letting go may be nearly impossible in a stressed state of mind. This can be a bit of a catch-22.
Letting go is easy for those who are well practiced at letting go, but for most of us it is easier said than done. “Just let go!” is great advice, but how do you do that?
Here’s How I Do It
is no magic formula for making peace. No one can do it for you. In
fact, in my experience, peace is not something I can really control: it
comes in its own time. But it is possible to create favorable conditions
for peace to arise in any situation.
One of my favorite ways to do this is called The Work of Byron Katie (The Work). The Work is a simple form of self-inquiry that helps me to identify a stressful thought, write it down, question it, turn it around, and find examples of how the opposite could be just as true.
This simple, meditative process opens my mind to experience the very opposite of what I believe. This process of expanding the mind often leaves me in a much more peaceful space, without changing anything else. Often after doing The Work, the same situation that stressed me no longer causes me stress at all.
is very freeing because it means that I don’t have to fix the situation
to be at peace with it. Yet ironically, I often find much more energy
and creativity available for problem solving when I’m no longer arguing
How to Do The Work
The Work is something you can do in written form, or with a partner in spoken form. The process itself provides no answers, but the questions invite the mind to settle deeply into itself. I find that this allows hidden experiences and wisdom that were already in me to surface.
been using The Work personally as an almost daily meditation practice
since 2007, and professionally since 2010. I have witnessed over and
over and over again the power of this simple set of questions. It
somehow gets my mind, and the minds of my clients, to look at things
very differently in a very short amount of time.
How to Make Peace with Anything
Some things are harder to let go of than others but, in theory, it is possible to make peace with anything. I continue to test this theory every day as I do The Work on the things that stress me.
encourage you to challenge yourself too. Can you make peace with
anything? I’m willing to bet that, if you’re willing to question your
thinking, that peace will have a hard time staying away from you.
If you want to begin this practice in earnest, I’d love to have you join us for The Work 101, my online course for learning and going deeply into The Work. The price goes up on Feb 8, so sign up now if you’re interested.
Have a great week,
“If you are tired of suffering, I invite you to The Work.” Byron Katie, A Mind at Home with Itself