I Don’t Blame People for One Second
If I believed that doing The Work meant forcing myself to be wrong, I would back away too. If I believed that finding a turnaround meant that I had to force myself to find why it is true, I’d say, “Thanks, but no thanks!”
Who wants to be pushed around by some “technique”? Who wants to give control over to some questions? That’s ridiculous. If you think that’s what The Work is, I suggest you run as fast as you can away from it.
Because That’s Not The Work
The Work is not about proving that the opposite of what you believe is true. No. The Work is exploration. Not proving.
In exploration, I look at all the data, and see what I can see. I don’t know what I’ll find when I explore openly like this. But the more sides I look at, the better chance I have of finding the real truth—my truest truth. The Work is about finding out what’s really true for me by exploring all sides of things.
The Work is not about forcing anything down my throat. It is the opposite of that. If I look at The Work as a way of proving that I’m wrong, then no wonder the mind rebels against it.
I Talked to Someone the Other Day
He said he has trouble with the turnarounds. He said that he couldn’t find any examples of why the turnaround is true. He was frustrated.
So I pointed out his underlying assumption: that every turnaround must be true. And I challenge you too: every turnaround must be true, is that true?
If I believe that, then I think that “I’m having trouble with the turnarounds.” But in reality, I’m not having trouble with the turnarounds. The honest reality is that some turnarounds are not true for me at all.
The Key Word Is “For Me”
It’s my truth that I’m looking for. Not some spiritual B.S. Not some universal truth. Until I see it as true for me, it’s not true for me.
If the turnaround is not true for me, I may pause and give it a chance. Maybe there’s something I’m missing. That is meditation. But if it’s still not true for me, I simply move on.
I have successfully done the turnaround. I explored it, and I found nothing. That is as much inquiry as exploring and finding something. The Work lies in the exploration, not in the finding or not finding.
For example, the person I spoke with the other day was working the thought, “I fear him.” When he got to the turnaround, “I don’t fear him,” it simply was not true for him. And “I fear myself,” was also not true for him. That was successful inquiry.
Now he knows that he really does fear the other person, and not himself. And now he can start looking at the specific situations where his fear gets triggered by this person, and start writing all those stressful thoughts on Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets. His work on “I fear him” led him directly into his next work.
The Work Is Very Simple
You look here, you check over there. You try looking at the opposite. You open every door. But you don’t pretend you found something behind every door.
That would be irresponsible inquiry. And it does not lead to peace. Forcing yourself to prove every turnaround amounts to giving up your power to The Work, which you are now viewing as an outside entity.
I invite you to take your power back. The Work is not your master. The Work is a tool in your hands. You are the boss. And you get to decide which turnarounds are true for you, and which are not. The true work is not anything from outside. The Work is your own internal process of discovering what’s true for you.
Have a great weekend,
Todd
“The Work is merely four questions; it’s not even a thing. It has no motive, no strings. It’s nothing without your answers.” Byron Katie, Loving What Is
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