It’s Natural To Have High Expectations
That’s what initially motivates me to do anything. I get an image in my mind of something nice, something ideal, and I start moving towards it. Keeping that picture in my mind keeps me moving in that direction.
This is a good thing.
But the problem starts when I get attached to the image in my mind. I want it to turn out exactly the way I pictured it. I become rigid in my expectations. And I become disappointed when there is any deviation from what I was expecting.
And This Can Happen With Expectations of The Work Too
What motivates me to do The Work of Byron Katie?
For me, it’s an image of an ideal outcome. I see myself feeling free inside, happy, peaceful, enlightened. This image is a composite of various other images: images of how Byron Katie has described her experience, images I’ve picked up from other spiritual teachers, images of my own past happy moments.
I meld them all together and come up with a glorious vision of what my life would be like if I keep questioning what I believe.
This Is Great For Motivation
But not so great for contentment and peace of mind. Ironically, the very vision that keeps me motivated to do my work causes unrest and even stress.
When this happens to me, I write down my expectations and question them, just like any other stressful thought.
I should be over this issue by now, is that true?
I need to get to a state of complete freedom, is that true?
For me, contentment comes when I find that “being on the path” is as good, or even better, than being in “the goal.”
Then My Motive Shifts
Instead of doing The Work to get to “someday,” I do The Work simply because I find it helpful and I enjoy exploring in this way.
Then I stop judging The Work and measuring results. I stop using it as a way to escape, a way to save myself, a way to fix myself. And I just do it because I like it.
And ironically, it seems to work much better that way too.
Have a great week,
Todd
“If you do The Work with any kind of motive, even the best of motives—getting your husband back or healing your body or saving the world—it won’t be genuine, because you’ll be looking for a certain kind of answer, and you won’t allow the deeper answers to surface. Only when you don’t know what you’re looking for can you be open to the answers that will change your life. Any motive other than the love of truth won’t work.” Byron Katie, A Thousand Names For Joy
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