This Is Such an Interesting Trick of Mind
The mind gets so focused on the one apple it “can’t” have that it disregards all other possibilities for getting what it wants.
This is victimhood. This is stuckness. This is depression.
And this is my favorite kind of stressful thought to question with The Work of Byron Katie.
A Client Came to me with This Kind of Stressful Thought Recently
She said she had been depressed for the past month and a half because her work cut her hours from 30 hours/week to 12 hours/week.
It’s totally understandable. I’ve been depressed over not enough work before. In fact, I had a tinge of it going when she called – since my summer workshops are not filling up and will probably be canceled.
But she came to me for inquiry, not sympathy, so we did The Work.
She Filled in a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet
She wrote, “I am upset with work because my hours were cut. I want my hours back. I need more hours. I need people to call me and give me their hours. Work is unable to give me the hours I need. I don’t ever want to experience loss of hours again.”
Short and sweet. This worksheet captured why she was depressed. And we questioned each thought she wrote.
She also found an underlying belief which we questioned: “Being one of the first ones cut means I wasn’t doing a good enough job.”
Here’s What She Found
The cuts had nothing to do with her personally. She has consistently gotten good reviews for her work. The company was just not making money and had no choice but to cut.
She also found that she doesn’t necessarily need more hours from her current company because there are so many options she can explore for other jobs. For example, nanny jobs (which she loves), or online tech support (which she also loves).
As her mind opened up through inquiry, she found that there were many other options. And the great news was that she had 18 extra hours every week to search for work (since she usually works 30 hours and is currently only working 12).
Then We Went to the Worst Case Scenario
The worst that could happen is that she wouldn’t be able to make her car payments and would lose her car. At first it seemed like the pinnacle of her victim story. Locked at home, far away from town, unable to search for work.
But then she realized that she could apply for unemployment insurance and use that money to get a bus pass to town. No victim story there. And of course, she could still look for work online without a car as well.
So the more she looked at it, the less dire her situation became. And in the end she said, “I can’t believe I was depressed for a month and a half over nothing!” When I heard this, I knew her work was done on this one. She could no longer see herself as a victim because she saw that she had never been one in the first place.
That is why I love The Work. It opens my mind to what has always been there waiting for me to notice.
Have a great weekend,
Todd
“You can’t have an up without a down. You can’t have a left without a right. This is duality. If you have a problem, you must already have the solution. The question is, Do you really want the solution, or do you want to perpetuate the problem? The solution is always there. The Work can help you find it. Write down the problem, question it, turn it around, and you have the solution.” Byron Katie, Question Your Thinking, Change The World.
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