And it usually comes down the same reason every time.
They were hurting themselves with their answers. They often tell me, “I didn’t like that The Work made everything all my fault.”
Because The Work does bring everything back to you. It points to the only thing that can make you suffer: yourself.
But this is not an invitation to beat yourself up with what you find. No. This is an invitation to notice that you have a choice to suffer or not in any situation.
That’s all.
That’s where the freedom comes from.
This is not The Work. This is just the mind using distraction tactics.
The mind is attached to being right. It is attached even to being a victim. So rather than let the idea sink in that it has a choice not to suffer, it chooses to use the turnarounds to beat itself up so it can still be a victim.
And then it can attack The Work itself as being a terrible system, so it doesn’t have to have its own tricks exposed again. The mind will do anything to avoid inquiry when it’s attached to a story.
It requires the patience and skill of a master woodturner. And that skill lies in one word: balance. If you dig too deeply, you rip the wood. If you don’t dig deeply enough, you can’t shape the bowl.
And the same is true when doing The Work. If you use your answers to beat yourself up, you’ve left The Work and are now just hurting yourself. And if you don’t do The Work at all, then what good can inquiry do for you?
Not pushing when the mind shuts down, and not using the turnarounds against yourself. If you start beating yourself up when doing The Work, I invite you to back off a little bit.
Can you take responsibility for your own suffering without attacking yourself for screwing up? This is the art of self-inquiry. And, in my experience, it comes from holding each turnaround in direct comparison to the original stressful statement.
Don’t go global with your turnarounds.
When the original and the turnaround are held together, there is balance. Either one when held alone can be stressful.
If you want support keeping the balance as you do inquiry, I invite you to become a Premium Client and do The Work with me once or twice a month.
Have a great week,
Todd
“Don’t get stuck in the turnarounds, as if there is a right or wrong way of doing them. If a turnaround doesn’t work for you, don’t worry. This is as it should be. Just move on to the next statement. Inquire sincerely, and let the turnarounds find you.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is p. 147.
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