Jealous Worksheets Are a Little Different
When you’re saddened, or angered by someone, or even afraid of them, the questions of the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet fit perfectly. But when you’re jealous, I find, it’s not always such a perfect fit.
For example, if I’m jealous of someone in a social situation, I might write on line 1, “I am jealous of him because he is such a good conversationalist.” Which works fine for me.
But When I Get to to Line 2, It’s not So Straightforward
Line 2 says, “In this situation, how to you want them to change? What do you want them to do?” My first thought is, “I don’t want him to change.” I just feel uncomfortable around him.
Granted, if I look a little closer, I can find ways I want him to change. But at first my mind is closed to this. So I open up the prompt on line 2 more broadly.
I change the prompt from “I want him to…” to simply “I want…”
This lets my mind run free. And I am able to put down wants that might not fit exactly into the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet format the way I’m accustomed to.
It Might Look Like This
Line 2: “I want to be more like him. I want to be more comfortable in my own skin.”
This is not the standard, “I want him to…” format, and it won’t have the standard three turnarounds. But these wants are very real thoughts running in my mind. I love to give myself the freedom to put them down.
When I do this, my Mind Opens to Filling out The Rest of the Worksheet
Once the first wants are down, the floodgates open for lines 3 and 4:
Line 3: “He should see my discomfort. He should try to include me. He should be aware of my weak point. He should try to lessen me discomfort.”
Line 4: “I need him to think I’m cool. I need him to really like me. I need him to include me.”
Sometimes my Mind Just Needs Permission
Permission to be free. Even when writing down my stressful thoughts.
When my mind feels free to write whatever comes, then my heart opens and I find some great concepts to work.
Have a great week,
Todd
“Write your judgments down, just the way you think them.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is, p. 11.
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