The Address Book Challenge

I say, “I like to,” but that doesn’t mean I always do it. In fact, over the past two decades of thinking like this, I think I’ve only sent out cards once.

I remember that my mom always used to write a ton of Christmas cards, and I’ve always thought it would be nice for me to do that as well.

But It Wasn’t That Easy For Me

I guess I’m a little shyer than she was.

I’d look at my address book, see a few people I’d like to say hi to. And find a bunch of others who I felt guilty for being out touch with for so long.

And The Whole Process Would Come Grinding To A Halt

I’d put it off another day. And another. And pretty soon, New Year’s Day had passed, and it was time to move on to other things.

That’s how I stayed safe. And that’s how I stayed alone, and feeling guilty.

But This Year I Did It Differently

I took the Address Book Challenge. A challenge that I made up for myself. It looks like this.

I open my address book, and scan through it paying close attention to my gut feelings. If I feel the slightest fear, guilt, sadness, or even distance associated with a name in my book, I stop. And I write down my thoughts about this person and do The Work.

I might use a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet to write down my thoughts. Or I might find just one thought to work about the person.

Often there is a specific situation associated with that person, waiting there from the distant past. Still sitting there, unresolved. Fresh for the picking, if I want to do The Work.

Honestly, I Could Spend All Year Working On This Project

And maybe I will.

But doing The Work on just one of these friends in my address book is already changing my perspective. Even towards my other friends.

This Year, For The First Time, I Did What I Wanted To Do

I actually sent out ton of short, little emails to friends and clients, wishing them a Happy New Year.

It was easy. It was fun. I didn’t try to win anyone over. I didn’t feel any guilt. I didn’t worry if what I wrote was appreciated. I was just doing it for me.

And It Felt Like I Gave Myself A Big Hug

A hug that was delivered back to me by so many friends who responded.

But I would have never gotten that hug, if I had not taken the Address Book Challenge. And I really only just waved my hand at it. I really just scratched the surface of this challenge. But it was enough.

The wind is in my sails again. And I’m inspired to do more Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets on the people I’m still not 100% comfortable with, sitting there waiting patiently in my address book.

Will You Take The Address Book Challenge?

If you like to do The Work, you may find some real gems waiting for you in your address book.

For me, it made me feel one step closer to being “all grown up,” just like I’ve always seen my mom to be.

Have a great week,
and Happy New Year!
Todd

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