Take in the whole scene–If you only look at the middle of the road, you will miss what is happening on the side of the road and behind you. Scanning helps you to see:
It’s amazing how well the principles of this page apply to doing The Work of Byron Katie.
Living life without some form of self-inquiry, such as The Work, is like looking at the middle of the road. Driving forward blindly, without scanning.
When we live like this, we are shocked and angered when unexpected things come up. We become the victims of unexpected situations and circumstances.
Like any good method of self-inquiry, The Work is simply a way to scan the road. It is a way to broaden our perspective. It allows us to start noticing other people around us, not just our own narrow path.
And when we do, we are not so shocked and surprised when unexpected things pop up. We’re almost expecting them, ready to hit the break as needed. We are willing for them to happen. And the part of us that loves a challenge may even be looking forward to them.
This is the opposite of the victim role.
By simply getting us to use our mirrors.
Blind spots are a part of life. We can only see in one direction at a time. We don’t have eyes in the backs of our heads.
And the biggest blind spot is always just opposite of where we’re looking. That’s why cars have rearview mirrors.
And that’s why The Work has a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.
It shows us what we’re thinking and believing all the time, but are just not seeing. We think we’re facing forward, judging another person on the worksheet, but in reality, we’re peering in the mirror at ourselves.
After all, it’s our thoughts about the other person that we are writing down. They tell us more about us, than about them.
Without having other people to put our judgments on, it’s hard to see those judgments in ourselves. Just as it’s hard to see who’s driving up behind us, or beside us, on the highway without looking in our mirrors.
When we do The Work, other people become that mirror for us, filling in what we couldn’t see without their help.
I used to think that too. And life showed me otherwise.
I recognize it now. Every time I react strongly to something someone says or does, I know I’ve just hit something in my blind spot. I thought I was seeing clearly, but I just ran into something lurking in the shadows of my mind. The kind of thing that could end up causing me, and others, a lot of pain.
I don’t like accidents. Especially ones that can be prevented. That’s why I use my mirrors. And that’s why I do The Work.
Have a great week,
Todd
We are not meant to live stressed lives. Learn how to address the root cause of your stress and find your freedom again. Otherwise, stress will keep accumulating. Learn how to break the cycle of stress here.
