Four Reasons To Use A Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet

Wax on. Wax off.

Wax on. Wax off.

If you ever saw the movie, Karate Kid, you’ll remember the student’s frustration with his master. Mr. Miyagi.

All day long, and into the evening, Mr Miyagi has him out in the driveway washing and waxing his cars, when he just wants to be learning karate.

In fact, it was so frustrating that he almost gave up and left.

Do You Get Frustrated Hearing About Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets?

Writing a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet (JYNW) sounds like a pain. You come in with a simple, stressed-out feeling. Why should you write a whole darned worksheet on somebody else?

And then why should you have to do The Work on every concept you write down! You might be thinking, "This is too much! Let me just work one simple thought and get out of here. I don’t need a whole worksheet."

But Let’s Look At Why A Worksheet Is Worth It

Mr. Miyagi didn’t tell the karate kid why he had to wax all those cars, but he had an important reason in mind. And later, when he found out how it ended up helping his karate moves, he saw that it was worth it.

Here are four reasons why using a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet is worth it for me.

1. A JYNW Slows Me Down

When I come in with a stress, I want immediate relief. And that desperate kind of attitude can actually inhibit my ability to go within and find true answers for myself when I do The Work.

A JYNW begs me to sit down and get still. It invites me to get clear about what exactly is bothering me, and who’s to blame.

It takes time to fill out a JYNW. And it takes time to work one. This forced slow-down is sometimes exactly what I need in order to look a little deeper, and find my peace.

2. It Makes It Easy To Identify Stressful Thoughts

Sometimes it’s hard to put your finger on what’s bothering you. A JYNW keeps it simple. You don’t have to be psychologist to identify what to work on.

Just follow the finger you’re already pointing at someone and answer the questions on the worksheet.

3. There Are Less Hidden Motives

Whenever you come to The Work trying to fix yourself, you run into a problem. The problem with trying to fix yourself with The Work is that the innocence of true self-exploration gets lost.

A JYNW restores us back to our innocence again. Innocently we judge other people. Innocently we get upset, angry, or sad because of what those people do.

When we write a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on another person, we’re just reporting what we think and feel. We’re not trying to solve our whole life’s problems. And that innocence is what allows us to go deep in The Work.

4. A JYNW Addresses The Main Cause Of Suffering

Some of our complaints and stressful thoughts are merely symptomatic.

My back hurts.
I can’t sleep.
I shouldn’t feel depressed.

Doing The Work on symptoms brings temporary relief, but it does not address the underlying cause of those symptoms.

The real cause of the lack of sleep, and back pain, and depression, is the fact that we are judging others. When we judge another person, verbally or silently to ourselves, we stress ourselves. It literally hurts us to hurt another person, even if we do it subconsciously.

So when we get those judgments on paper on a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, and question them, and turn them around, we feel a lot freedom. Then symptoms like poor sleep and depression go away.

This is the biggest value of a JYNW. It deals with the source of pain—our judgments of others. As we clean them up, even the self-judgments fade away.

But All My Judgments Are About Me

This is a common complaint. But take a moment. Is that really true? If you’re judging yourself, I’d be willing to bet that you’re judging everyone else too.

The short cut to dealing with self-judgments is to deal with them in other people first, where it’s much easier to be more objective about them.

So Take Mr. Miyagi’s Advice

And wax those cars!

It may seem like a pain to write your Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets and work them through. You may not want to do it. But, as far as I can see, this is the easiest and most direct way out of pain. It is the most powerful way to use The Work.