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How To Work With “I’m Not Good Enough”

It doesn’t matter how good you are.
It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are.
“I’m not good enough,” doesn’t care.

"I'm Not Good Enough" Comes In Different Forms

I’m not worthy.
I could be better.
I’m no good.
I don’t deserve…
I am a failure.

Let’s consider how we can use The Work of Byron Katie to question core beliefs like this.

Here are four tips for working with “I’m not good enough.”

1. Use a specific situation
2. Judge the person you’re comparing yourself to
3. Judge the person you’re trying to please
4. Question your proof

1. Use a Specific Situation

The problem with beliefs like, “I’m not good enough,” is that they’re so vast. And vast, abstract concepts are harder to work. The mind likes concrete situations and examples so it can really understand the meaning of the concept.

When I say, “I’m not good enough,” in a general way, I don’t know what exactly I mean. But if I wait until a situation arises where I actually catch myself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” it may be much easier to work. For example, just after losing a pickleball game.

The specific details and emotions of that moment will make the thought much more meaningful to work.

2. Judge the Person You're Comparing Yourself To

How did you get this belief in the first place? In my experience, it comes only when I compare myself to someone else, even if it is to an imaginary ideal person.

So if you want to work on “I’m not good enough,” you might consider writing a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on the person you compare yourself to.

For example, using the pickleball situation, I could write a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on a player who I think is better than me (the person who just beat me, or someone I’m comparing myself to).

3. Judge the Person You're Trying To Please

There may be a hidden player in the situation too. 

Maybe my mom wanted me to be good at sports and I’m secretly trying to please her every time I play pickleball. If that’s the case, I could write a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on my mom and her expectations of me. 

4. Question Your Proof

Another help is to list out your proof. 

If you want to question the thought, “I’m not good enough,” list off your proof and question each item on your list. Why do you think you’re not good enough? Get specific. There must be some very specific reasons.

If you you question your list of proof and find it is not so solid, you may also find that the original thought, “I’m not good enough,” is not so solid either.

Want More Practice?

If you want practice writing Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets and identifying stressful thoughts to question, take The Work 101 course with me and strengthen your muscles for inquiry. The Work is for those who like to think outside the box.