How To Work With “I’m Not Good Enough”
It doesn’t matter how good you are.
It doesn’t matter how beautiful you are.
If you believe that you’re not good enough, no one can tell you otherwise. In fact, we often spend our whole lives trying to disprove this one belief.
At the the very basis of our striving and self-improvement often lies the thought, “I’m not good enough.”
“I’m Not Good Enough” Comes In Different Forms
I’m not worthy.
I could be better.
I’m no good.
I don’t deserve…
I am a failure.
But before we go beating ourselves up further with these thoughts, let’s consider how we can use The Work to question core beliefs like this.
Here are three ways to work “I’m not good enough.”
1. Use a specific situation
2. Judge the person you’re comparing yourself to
3. Question your proof
1. Use A Specific Situation
The problem with beliefs like, “I’m not good enough,” is that they’re so vast. And vast, abstract concepts are more hard to work. The mind likes concrete situations and examples so it can really understand the meaning of the concept.
When you say, “I’m not good enough,” in a general way, it can be hard to work. But if you wait until a situation arises where you actually catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” it may be much easier to work.
So that’s one way to work the thought, “I’m not good enough.” Find a specific situation when you believed it and work the thought from there.
But there’s an even better way.
2. Judge The Person You’re Comparing Yourself To
How did you get this belief in the first place? In my experience, it comes only when I compare myself to someone else, even if it is to an imaginary ideal person.
So if you want to work on “I’m not good enough,” you might consider writing a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on the person you compare yourself to.
For example, let’s say you think you’re not good enough as a student. You can write a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on a fellow student who you think is better than you.
And there’s another way as well.
3. Question Your Proof
If you want to question the thought, “I’m not good enough,” list off your proof and question that. Why do you think you’re not good enough? Get specific. There must be some very specific reasons.
Question any proof you find.
If you find that your proof is not so solid, you may also find that your belief may start to teeter and crumble on its own.
So Try It Out, And Let Me Know
If you wrestle with the belief that you’re not good enough, try a few of these ideas. And let me know what works.
And if you get stuck, send me an email.