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Navigating the Divided Landscape

Ice sailing between the cliffs
It takes skill to sail peacefully through the divided landscapes of today’s culture.

Navigating the Divided Landscape

Division is sown deeply in today’s world. It seems almost anything can become a political wedge. You’ll recognize these issues because they almost invariably cause stress as people scramble to take sides. 

Vaccines, abortion, religion, diet, the environment… these are just a few of the hot topics of the day. Whether it’s liberal vs. conservative, race against race, or religion vs. religion, the world wants us to draw hard lines against each other and fight.

How can you navigate these dangerous waters where one wrong turn can destroy your ship? One way is to never set sail, of course. But that’s not the only way to remain unstressed in today’s world. 

Is It Possible to Participate in Divisive Discussions Without Getting Overwhelmed?

Is it possible to even be passionate about something without being stressed? It all depends on how you see it. 

Stress, in my experience, comes from attachment and fear. When I’m attached to being right, I feel threatened when someone challenges me. When I fear disapproval, I hide my views from others. 

What if those attachments and fears were not there? Would the same discussions be as stressful?

Let’s Take Vaccines for Example

There are two camps with vaccines: 1. they are really important and, 2. they are dangerous. These couldn’t be more diametrically opposed points of view. Moreover, it’s all or nothing: either you get vaccinated or you don’t. There’s no middle ground. 

If you look more closely, the topic revolves around fear on both sides: fear that the pandemic will be worse without the vaccines on one side, and fear that vaccines will make health worse on the other side. Both sides are driven by fear. 

This makes any discussion between two fearful people on opposite sides a very emotional discussion. Each is fighting for survival. And that makes each see the other as the enemy to be destroyed at all costs—not a very conducive environment for peaceful discussion. 

But What If Each Side Questioned Its Fearful Thinking?

If you’re accustomed to doing The Work of Byron Katie, you’re no stranger to questioning fears. It’s very simple, yet profound. Here is a belief that could be questioned from either side.

The other camp threatens my health (or wealth, or freedom).

How do you react, when you believe this thought? The whole story of conflict is built into this one thought and its variations on either side. 

Without it, the mind starts to see good people on the other side again. Similarities begin to dominate instead of charged differences. Though we may still disagree, we can now have an interesting discussion and enjoy connecting, instead of fearing the other like an enemy.

I Am Right, Is It True?

This is another thought that gets in the way of harmony and love. Who would you be without the thought, “I am right?” I would be listening, putting all my cards out on the table. There would be no charge. And if, in the end, it’s unclear what is true, the discussion would not get stuck on that. There is no need to find an absolute truth. When both sides are open, they realize that there is always truth on both sides. 

This is how humans interact when they are not stressed: they respect each other, they listen carefully, they share opposing points of view with kindness and without force. But this way of interacting is only possible when the mind is not attached to being right.

I encourage you to notice your stressful thoughts on this or any other divisive issue. Question your stressful thoughts (filling in a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on someone can be helpful in identifying the thoughts to question). Then see if there might be a way to find the middle ground that is neither fighting nor fleeing the discussion—a way that feels peaceful inside, even when others are defensive. 

If you want to practice doing this work, I encourage you to take The Work 101 course starting in April. In that course, you will spend time unraveling the thoughts that bind you, whatever they may be.

Have a great week,
Todd

“Fear is born only to words believed, and what believes those words is a concoction of prior words believed. Who started all this confusion? You did. Who can end it? Only you.” Byron Katie, A Mind at Home with Itself

Further reading: How to Question Stressful Thoughts About COVID-19

Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.