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Who Would You Be Without a Destination?

beautiful room with roses
What rosy destination has your mind locked onto?

Most of the Time I’m Trying to Get Somewhere

As I write this, I’m flying from Los Angeles to Vermont. The captain comes on every hour to tell us how much longer it will be before we land. It’s as if life is on hold until we reach our destination.

Next week, my partner and I will be flying again as we move from Vermont to British Columbia. Again, it’s a destination. My mind thinks, “I can’t relax until the moving process is complete.”

Meanwhile I can think of a dozen things that I’d like to improve on my website and in The Work 101 and Inquiry Circle. Each one is a destination.

Even finishing writing this newsletter article is a destination of sorts. Somewhere deep inside, my mind believes that my life will be better once I can check it off my list.

And let’s not even talk about the destination of finding peace, enlightenment, etc. All of this unfinished business is a cause for stress.

But Destination Is Just a Concept

Right now I think Vermont is my destination as I’m flying through the air, but that’s a totally relative idea. From another point of view it’s truer that British Columbia is my destination. Where do you draw the line? Is Vermont the destination, or just another point along the way? And for that matter, is British Columbia really a destination, or just another point along the way?

When I stop and think about it, no matter where I look, I can’t actually find a true destination. There’s always something more beyond it.

Even enlightenment, if there is such a thing, is described by the wise as ever evolving. If that is so, where do you draw the line between unenlightened and enlightened? Even enlightenment may end up looking like just another beginning when seen from further down the road.

So I Can Take it Either Way

Either it’s impossible to reach enlightenment because there is no endpoint (so why bother). Or I’m already enlightened as I move from one state of enlightenment to the next, to the next, to the next (so it’s no big deal). It seems to be just a matter of degree.

Either way, enlightenment as a final “destination” makes less and less sense. Why would I trade the goodness of where I currently am for the stress of attaching to a destination?

This Applies to Everything

There is a joy in writing this newsletter. Do I really need to reach the “destination” of completing it in order to be happy? It doesn’t mean I’m not taking action. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a goal. But I’m aware that even that goal is just a concept made up and defined by me. It’s not actually real or important.

When I hold any goal loosely, I can be happy while moving towards or even away from it. In that space, I’m much more open to unexpected “destinations” along the way. Like the guy next to me just now spilling some coffee on my computer. (No, I’m not making this up. The timing was impeccable.)

As it turns out, only one USB port was damaged but with an open mind even the death of my computer would have been okay. My destination simply shifts now to calling Apple to see if it is covered by insurance.

If you ever get caught in the obsession of wanting to complete things, I encourage you to write down your destination based thinking and question it. “I need to get there, is it true?” Who would you be without such a solid, imposing concept of destination in your mind?

Have a great week,
Todd

“People think that enlightenment must be some kind of mystical, transcendent experience. But it’s not. It’s as close to you as your own most troubling thought. When you believe a thought that argues with reality, you’re confused. When you question that thought and see that it’s not true, you’re enlightened to it, you’re liberated from it. You’re as free as the Buddha in that moment. And then the next stressful thought comes along, and you either believe it or question it. It’s your next opportunity to get enlightened. Life is as simple as that.” Byron Katie, A Mind at Home with Itself

Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.