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How to Establish a Habit of The Work

The first key in learning how to play a musical instrument is to establish a habit of practicing.

And the Same Is True for The Work

Both The Work and learning to play a musical instrument are long-range activities.

But I live in a world where putting out fires, dealing with emergencies, and just staying afloat, can easily consume me. The idea of prevention, long-range vision, and setting things up the way I want them to be can easily get lost with all of the short-range activities competing for my attention.

So even a very genuine desire to do The Work can easily get lost in the jumble of everyday life. For many people, months can go by without doing The Work until the need becomes so great that they end up coming back to it intensively. But because they can’t sustain that kind of intensity, they swing back to not doing The Work again. And so the cycle goes.

There’s Nothing Wrong with a Cycle Like That

I know many people who love The Work and who go for long periods without doing it. Then they switch and focus only on The Work for a while. Then they stop again, then come back again.

But I’m more interested in a slow, steady approach. And the reason I like this approach is that it allows me to deal with stress as it arises instead of waiting for it to build up. I’m always doing The Work, so I catch things right away, before they take over my life. And as a result, I often find myself unraveling subtler and subtler issues as I go.

Also, I tend to do more work overall this way. And I tend to have a more even keel as well.

How Do you Establish a Habit of The Work?

There are many facets to it, and each person has to find his or her own way. But here are few things I’ve found helpful along the way.

1. Do some honest prioritization. I like to sit down and write down all the things competing for my time and try to find a balance. And I like to get very honest as I prioritize things. Maybe The Work is not my #1 priority. If not, it should not be in my #1 time slot. However, if The Work is a higher priority than some other things, then it should get a higher priority time slot. In this process, I inevitably find that I have to make some cuts too. Some activities are not high enough on the priority list. Something has to be cut because I just can’t do them all. Maybe it’s even The Work that gets cut. But if it’s not The Work, then something else may have to dropped. I like to do this dropping consciously.

2. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. This can stop my momentum cold. Let’s say that doing The Work is a priority for me. But I think I have to spend an hour a day on it. That’s great if I have an hour a day to spend. But if not, I’m not being realistic. I find it much more helpful to do ten minutes a day consistently than to try to spend more time than I actually have. Ask yourself honestly how much time do you have each day for The Work and respect that decision. Going over that time can end up backfiring.

3. Find unlimited time within a very limited amount of time. This is my favorite. If I’m doing The Work for ten minutes a day, I cannot work through one entire stressful thought in one session. But if I look at all the sessions strung together, each with 10 minutes available for doing The Work, I have literally an unlimited amount of time to work. This takes all the pressure off of it. I can be doing deep work in just ten minutes a day, or 20 minutes a day, or 30 minutes a day because every day I just pick up where I left off the day before. I can go as slowly and as thoroughly as I need to without rushing.

4. Work with others. This is so helpful. This is why I created Inquiry Circle. We are a group of people who want to do The Work consistently. Just being a part of a group like this tends to keep me coming back. Then I’m not alone in doing my work. I’ve got my small group within Inquiry Circle and my regular work partners in the group to help me carry the momentum.

5. Brush up on your skills. One of the things that makes The Work enjoyable is being fluent in the skill of The Work. If you are a little rusty, that can slow your momentum because you may not be getting the full experience of The Work as a result. Then it’s less enjoyable. That’s why The Work 101 is now a part of Inquiry Circle, so we can all stay on top of our skills.

6. Put consistency first but roll with the punches. It takes a few months to really establish a new habit. I find it really helpful to show up every day even for one minute just to keep the momentum going. Some days I get busier than usual. I could skip The Work those days, and sometimes I do, but just checking in for even a minute has the effect of keeping my attention on this long-term process. And it helps me keep building the habit.

7. Find a niche in your schedule. This is so helpful for me. There are times in my day when fitting The Work in my schedule would be difficult because I’ve got a lot going on. And there are other times when it can more easily fit it. I know people who do The Work just before bed. Or just when they wake up. Or at lunch every day. What is a time that might consistently work for you? Hint, this becomes clearer once your get clear on your priorities.

8. Keep adjusting as things change. Rigidity will stop the momentum too. Your priorities may change, your niche time may shift. Anything can change. So keep checking in with yourself as you fine tune a routine that works for you. This is a living, dynamic operation.

9. Question your motives and your resistance thoughts. This has been one of the most helpful of all for me. Both my motives and my resistance thoughts can stop my momentum. I suggest making a list of all the reasons why you don’t want to, or can’t make, The Work a steady practice and question each one. For example, “It takes too much time. I don’t understand it. It’s too hard, etc.” And at the same time, make a list of all your motives (what you want to get by doing The Work, what you think you need from it) and question these thoughts too. For example, “I need to get free. I want to get enlightened, etc.” When these motives go unquestioned, they can silently work against you because the mind will be constantly comparing. Nothing can drive a person crazy faster than, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

Let Me Know What Works for You

If you’ve been able to set up a consistent routine of doing The Work (or any other practice), let me know what you’ve learned along the way. What has worked for you, and what has not worked for you? I’d love to hear.

And if you’re interested in putting some of this into practice, I’ll be starting little mini-training group inside of Inquiry Circle to support those who really want to establish a habit of The Work.

Have a great weekend,
Todd

“All across America and Europe, there are groups of people who meet regularly to do The Work.” Byron Katie, Loving What Is

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Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.