There’s a Want Behind Every Fear

apple on the tree
Which want are you attached to getting?

Life Will Show you your Attachments

The way life does this is by occasionally threatening the very thing you want. When it does, you’ll feel fear—fear of losing what you want.

This just shows you what you’re attached to.

This Came up Recently in a Private Session

My client was feeling fear around Trump. He was trying to avoid the news in order to not hear about the changes that are coming. But the news found him anyway.

For him, it was all negative—his worst fears coming to pass. It was as bad, or worse, than what he thought on election day.

And the decisions Trump is making could very negatively affect his business.

So How Do you Do The Work on This?

You could do The Work on Trump and what he’s doing. Any worksheet on him would probably get you there.

But I suggested that you can’t have fear without a want.

When my client considered it, he found that the want behind the fear for him was to be successful in his new business.
Trump’s Threat to his New Business Is what Made it Personal

That’s why he was so bothered by the news. Trump’s policies may affect his whole sector of business. And my client could easily imagine his start-up business failing as a result.

So we Questioned, “I Want to Be Successful in the New Business”

Question 3: “How do you react, what happens, when you believe that you want to be successful in the new business?” Scared of Trump. Afraid, it will never have a chance. Frustrated that starting a new business is hard enough, let alone when challenged in this way.

Question 4: “Who would you be without the thought, ‘I want to be successful in the new business?'” It took some time for my client to open up enough to even consider the question but when he did he reported that he’d be totally free.

That’s the Power of a Want

When I want something, then anything that threatens what I want becomes the enemy, the one to fear. And when I’m not so attached, even genuine threats don’t scare me. That is true freedom.

My client turned it around to, “I want to play at being successful in the new business.” This lightened everything. It gave perspective. The new business venture became more of a game than an identity.

And then Trump’s threat became a challenge only. And, in the worst case, if it really did destroy his business, it need not destroy him too.

It all comes down to how attached I am to what I want.

Have a great week,

“It’s good that you think you’re going to lose your job. This is exciting. Do The Work, live The Work, notice, and know that if you lose your job, there is something better waiting for you. But when you’re stuck in a belief, you’re blind. There has to be something better, because there is only goodness in the universe. “My life would be much better if I don’t lose my job”—can you absolutely know that that’s true? There’s nothing more exciting than living on the edge and being aware of it.” Byron Katie, Question Your Thinking, Change the World

Get Articles like this in your Inbox every week

  • Get weekly tips on how to do The Work of Byron Katie.

  • Read my insights as I do The Work.

  • Be the first to know about new courses and other (cool) stuff.

  • Get my free checklist for filling in the Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.

I will not send spam, and I will not sell or give away your e-mail address to anyone.