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Humility

Humility is beautiful because it keeps things real.

Humility Lies at the Core of The Work

Without humility, The Work doesn’t touch the soul. Without humility, The Work is powerless. It is only when I do The Work with humility that it transforms my life.

What Is Humility?

Humility, when doing The Work of Byron Katie, is being open to being wrong. If you’re not open to being wrong, how can you be objective in your inquiry?

Of course, just because you do inquiry doesn’t mean that you are wrong, but to do inquiry fairly, you have to at least be open to that possibility.

The first question, “Is it true?” is a direct challenge to any established belief. It is asking, “Could I be wrong? Is there something else going on here?”

If I am closed to this question, I miss the opportunity to find the real truth—the truth that could set me free.

Defense and Justification Are the Opposite of Humility

Humility is openness. Defense is closed. Defense is a stance that says, “I am right, and I’m willing to defend my position.”

Defense shows up in doing The Work in many places: by not being willing to do The Work in the first place on an area where I want to stay right, by answering the questions with “Yeah, but…,” by justification, explaining why I’m right, by diversion tactics, and by blaming.

The Work stops working the moment I step into justification and defense. I’ve lost humility and openness. And The Work also stops working the moment I step into self-attack.

Self-Attack Is an Opposite of Humility Too

This one sounds strange at first. Wouldn’t self-attack be a kind of humility? After all, I’m putting myself down.

But when you look closely, it’s easy to see that self-attack is the very opposite of humility. Real humility would be taking in the truth and letting it kill me quietly.

But instead, self-attack makes a show of remorse and self-flagellation in the hopes of somehow preventing the truth from getting close enough to really kill the ego. It is a fake. A poor substitute for humility. And the ego stays intact. There is no humility in self-attack.

Peace Comes from Owning the Truth

The four questions and the turnarounds are helpful in finding the truth. But it is always up to me whether I own it or not.

The more I am able to own my part—the more I am able to own the very truths that I’m trying to avoid without beating myself up—the more peace can get a hold of me. And when it does, there’s no going back. The ego dies, and so does the suffering.

It Takes Courage to be Humble

It takes courage to even allow yourself to write a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on something that is stressful. Because you know you’ll be questioning everything. And only the truth will survive the intense light of inquiry.

But if your interest is freedom and peace, then this is exciting. Because humility brings the end of pretense and the beginning of genuine peace of mind.

Have a great weekend,
Todd

“Humility is what happens when you’re caught and exposed to yourself, and you realize that you’re no one and you’ve been trying to be someone. You just die and die into the truth of that. You die into what you have done and who you have been, and it’s a very sweet thing; there’s no guilt or shame in it. You become totally vulnerable, like a little child. Defense and justification keep falling away, and you die into the brilliance of what is real.” Byron Katie, A Thousand Names for Joy

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Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.