I Remember When Bill Clinton Bombed Bosnia
It was right in the thick of his impeachment proceedings. And I thought at the time, “Great distraction. When things aren’t looking to good at home, bomb another country.”
Granted, I am being simplistic when I make accusations like this. I know there is a lot more to international affairs than I’ll ever understand, but the timing made my simple mind go, hmm.
And it Has Stuck with me Ever Since
Because I notice distraction ploys not only in politics but in my own mind too. For example, attacking my partner when I’m really just trying to hide something about myself. Or exaggerating one of my lesser problems to avoid looking at one of my big ones.
The Work has a way of cutting through the distraction ploys by calling my bluffs. Luckily, I can never completely fool myself. I might fall for it 99%. But even if my thinking believes its own story, my emotions point out the lie.
That’s why The Work starts by identifying the stressful emotion and working backwards from there. Emotions are the truth detectors which show the way out of the maze of distractions that we create for ourselves.
This Came up in a Session Recently
I was working with a woman questioning the stressful thought, “I am not attractive to men.” When we did The Work, it turned out that she was blaming a few somewhat small issues with her body for her not being in a relationship.
And she was using a whole host of other stringent requirements for a potential boyfriend (limiting the field to almost zero). As well as keeping very busy with her job, another great reason why she couldn’t date.
When she looked closer, she found that what was really going on was that she did not want to be in situations where she was not in control, i.e. a relationship. And it soon came clear that she was afraid of recreating what happened with her ex-husband.
This Pointed to Deeper Work
We started out by questioning, “I’m not attractive to men.” But found that it was not really that true. And in the process, discovered where the real work needs to be done: writing Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheets on her ex-husband from some of those old situations where she felt she was not in control.
So The Work is layered. You start out innocently questioning one thought. And it often leads to something deeper.
If Bill Clinton was doing The Work in 1999, he might have started out writing a worksheet on Miloević, but would have probably ended up doing a worksheet on Kenneth Starr!
Have a great week,
Todd
“The ego is terrified of the truth.” Byron Katie, Question Your Thinking, Change The World
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