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I Want To Get To The Bottom of Things But I Can’t

Sometimes it’s just too foggy to drive.

The Joy of Discovery Is Compelling

Once you gain some insights through The Work (questioning what you believe), it’s natural to want more. I’ve found myself often wanting to dig deep into one area using the four questions and turnarounds of The Work.

But sometimes I reach a place where I can see no further.

This can be frustrating if you’re trying to stay in control of your progress (good luck with that). But it’s not necessarily the end of the road for your inquiry.

The Work Needs Specifics To Question

And when it’s just foggy, there are no forms to be seen. Everything is hidden.

This is what it’s like to be asleep in a particular area of your life. You can’t see. You have no idea what is up and what is down. You can’t see anything. How the heck can you do The Work with this?

The Answer Is You Can’t

But is that true?

Just because you can’t see anything, doesn’t mean you won’t bump into things in the fog. This is the main way I find my Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet situations. I walk blindly into the fog (actually, that just means living my life as I already do, half asleep).

And when I bump into something, I get excited. Now I’ve found something concrete to work with. It’s still fog on all sides, but I can touch the object perfectly well in all that fog. And so I can do a worksheet, and start to gain some clarity.

This is how I make inroads into murky areas in my life. I don’t seek out the next area of my exploration with The Work. Instead, I let the next worksheet find me. This keeps it very real for me. And it allows me to stumble into unexpected places.

For Example, I Thought I Was Pretty Clear About Marketing

I used to have a lot of beliefs about marketing being bad. I questioned them and started being more fearless in sharing what I do. I even questioned my long-seated prejudice that making money is bad. And I found freedom in allowing myself to be honest about my desire to make a living. (I always chose spiritual practice over money to such an extreme that I was poor most of my adult life.)

But recently I bumped into something unexpected. At the convention for the Institute for The Work in Los Angeles last month, I started a community collaboration project with the topic, “Making a Living as a Facilitator.” I thought it was a good idea, but Byron Katie invited us to turn it around and “not make a living as a facilitator.”

And a part of me got defensive.

That’s when I knew I had bumped into something inside myself that I had not yet worked. A form emerged from the fog.

This Has Been The Start Of A Whole New Inquiry For Me

It humbled me to see my defensiveness. And so I used that moment when I heard Katie’s words to write a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet on her. When I looked at my thinking in that moment about her, it contained a host of big concepts laid out perfectly for me to question.

I noticed how my attachment to making a living was the dominant force behind my sharing The Work. I discovered that even more dominant than my money motive was a motive for recognition and approval – dare I say the ugly word, fame. It makes my stomach turn just to admit it.

I noticed these selfish motives even when doing genuine service to others. They have been sitting in the background poisoning my experience of service. And discovering this has started a cascade of questioning which will lead me who knows where.

But For Me This Is Exciting

Freedom is my biggest interest. So the moment I discover something holding me back, I start questioning it.

I can guarantee that if I have even the slightest stressful reaction, then whatever little situation I fall into will contain a big piece of what holds me back from freedom in my life.

This makes it easy for me. I don’t have to strategize my work. I just have to pay attention and jump in with a worksheet whenever I get triggered. That’s how life continues to show me what’s left.

Have a great weekend,
Todd

“People new to The Work sometimes think, “I don’t know what to write. Why should I do The Work anyway? I’m not angry at anyone. Nothing’s really bothering me.” If you don’t know what to write about, wait. Life will give you a topic.” Byron Katie, Loving What Is

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Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.