No One Likes Negativity
I think this dislike is built into our systems. We shun everything unpleasant, and seek everything pleasant. And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Nothing wrong with preferences.
The problem comes when shunning unpleasantness becomes an obsession. And when it comes filled with fear and a desire to control.
That’s when shunning negativity becomes negative itself.
It’s Very Ironic
Some of the most negative people I know are dedicated to destroying negativity. I recognize this tendency in myself too. I think we all do it to some degree.
It comes out in statements like, “Don’t be so negative!” And it comes with a fear that allowing any negativity to be brought up will result in that negativity growing out of control.
But ironically, not bringing it up can make it grow out of control even more.
Negativity Thrives In Suppression
Non-truth thrives in the dark.
So pushing negativity away is not an effective means of controlling it. What is much more effective is to move towards it with the light of inquiry. Bring in the light, and the shadows evaporate. Move towards the mirage and it disappears.
Because it was never really there to begin with. Negativity only seems real. But in reality, only I can label something “negative” or “positive.” Negativity is a judgment in my own mind.
And if I question my own judgments, I come to see the truth that even the worst thing in the world is not negative in and of itself. It only becomes negative when I see it that way. And it stops being negative the moment I stop seeing it that way.
This is the power of self-inquiry.
Have a great week,
Todd
“I used to hate my husband’s negativity; now I embrace it because it shows me where I have some negativity about something within me. I realize that if I didn’t believe my thoughts about my husband’s negativity, I wouldn’t be upset. When he criticizes me now, I don’t shut down. I actually listen to what he has to say, and I can find where it’s true. I’m getting to know a pretty amazing man—after nine years of being with him.” A quote from someone doing The Work published in I Need Your Love, Is That True? by Byron Katie
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