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I Can’t Get a Job If I’m Totally, Brutally Honest, Is That True?

The competition for getting a job in New York City must be huge. How can you compete if you have a flaw?

One of My Clients Did a Fascinating Piece of Work Recently

She has been out of work for a while. And while she is very good at what she does, she is not so good at time management and productivity.

This resulted in her coming under review in her last job, and eventually she quit that job to avoid a possible firing on her record.

Needless to say, she’s been worried about looking for a new job. At one point she told me directly, “I can’t get a job if I’m totally, brutally honest.”

And I Immediately Asked Here, “Is That True?”

It was shocking to even consider that question. Her answer was yes, it’s true.

But we explored it and found that this thought alone was responsible for a huge percentage of her stress. How does she react when she believes it’s true? Tension, fear of job interviews, unable to apply for jobs, totally stuck.

And if she didn’t believe it was true? Peaceful, honest, simple. Looking for a job that would match who she really is, instead of trying to hide herself to get in the door.

So She Turned It Around

And found examples of how being totally, brutally honest could actually help her to get a job. Here are a few of the examples she found.

1. If she’s totally honest in an interview, highlighting her weak points as well as her strong points the interviewer may find it very refreshing to work with someone so honest.

2. If her weak points are fully exposed from the beginning, there will be less stress on the job trying to keep them covered.

3. Because she has been open about her weak points, she may also start to receive the training and support she needs from the company in order to improve in those weak areas.

4. If she’s totally honest, then the interview gets turned around too: now she’s interviewing potential bosses to see who is a good fit for her, not the other way around! The power is back in her hands.

But Can You Go Too Far With It?

She also discovered that there is a difference between being totally, brutally honest, and using the honest truth to put yourself down and shut yourself out.

That doesn’t feel like balance either.

If she goes to an interview and highlights only her weak points to the exclusion of her strengths, then it’s like using the interview to beat herself up.

If you present only the bad side, then sure, who will hire you? But if you hide your weaknesses, then you feel the stress of that.

The balance point may be somewhere in the middle: giving a fair, open, and complete picture without skewing it either to the negative or to the positive. Just honest.

Whatever job I get using that approach could be a very good match for me. A place where I could really be happy and grow.

Have a great week,
Todd

“The job is about your freedom. Everything—every man, woman, and child, every tree, every stone—is about your freedom. It’s all God giving you what you need so you can get honest one time.” Byron Katie, Question Your Thinking, Change The World

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Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.