But It Turns Out It Was All About Me
I’ve been doing work on my mom recently, and enjoying some interesting insights. Here’s one that stands out for me last week.
Here’s What I Wrote
On line 4 of a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet, I wrote, “I need my mom to stop doing such important things.” This was in a situation where I had come home for a visit and felt like I didn’t get to see enough of her because she was working.
The turnaround was, “I need me to stop doing such important things.” At the time, I was very rigid about my meditation hours. I realized through this turnaround that I was doing the same thing to her that I felt she was doing to me, actually more so.
I was coming home for a visit, but not making much time available for my mom because of my meditation time.
When I Saw That, I Stopped Feeling Like a Victim
She may have not been spending extra time with me simply because I had been giving her the message that my meditation time was more important to me. I wanted her to give, but wasn’t willing to give myself.
Even though my mom is no longer alive, this week I’ve been practicing living this turnaround.
Last Friday, for example, I was thinking I needed to finish cleaning the house, and when my partner wanted to go for a walk, I decided to let my “important” job go and join him.
It felt very open hearted for me to do so. Just like it may have felt if I had forgone my “important” meditation to have breakfast with Mom.
Have a great week,
Todd
“This whole world is about you. Theories have no value. Pain is not a teacher until you investigate and realize its cause.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is.
Get two new articles about The Work of Byron Katie every week, plus my checklist for the Judge-Your-Neighbor-Worksheet. Subscribe to the newsletter here.
If you like this article, feel free to forward the link to friends, family or colleagues. Or share the link on Facebook or other social media. If you have thoughts you’d like to share about it, please leave your comments below.
