Close this search box.

Inferiority Complex As a Temple Bell

Why would a beautiful house give you an inferiority complex? It only does if you want it and think you can’t have it.

Inferiority Complexes Are Funny Things

Doing The Work with a client a few weeks ago, we made an interesting discovery about inferiority complexes.

We were working the concept, “She doesn’t like me,” in an awkward social situation. My client wanted to connect with this person that she admired but didn’t know well. Instead, she felt very self-conscious, and excluded.

The inferiority complex in that situation was a reaction to what she was believing.

And It Became Clear Why

Admiring someone feels good. No stress there. But wanting something from them is stressful.

By wanting the woman to like her and engage in conversation with her, she put herself in a more needy, dependent space. And naturally she stopped respecting herself. She couldn’t respect herself when she was wanting, or needing, or feeling desperate.

So the natural result was an inferiority complex. She felt less than. Not because she was “less than” in any real way. But because she was acting in a “less than” kind of way internally by wanting attention so badly.

So an Inferiority Complex Is a Temple Bell

Whenever you feel an inferiority complex coming on, it’s a sign that you’re wanting something. You’ve stepped out of contentment, and into some flavor of desperation.

It’s a temple bell calling you to come back to self-inquiry. It’s an invitation to write down what you’re wanting, and question if it’s really true that you want it, or need it. When my client questioned, “I want her to be interested in me,” and turned it around, and found examples of the turnarounds, the desperate feeling shifted.

So when you feel an inferiority complex in any situation, it’s just an opportunity to notice what you’re wanting and to do The Work on it.

Have a great week,

“What do you want from him?” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is.

If you like this article, feel free to forward the link to friends, family or colleagues. Or share the link on Facebook or other social media. If you have thoughts you’d like to share about it, please leave your comments below.

Get two new articles about The Work of Byron Katie every week. Subscribe to the newsletter here.

Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.