Search
Close this search box.

Question Your Motives

Flowers
What is your motive for buying flowers for someone?

We Do Everything for a Reason

Or at least that I do.

But have you questioned the reasons why you do things?

This can be a fascinating area for doing The Work. it doesn’t even require a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet.

Just notice what is your motive the next time you give flowers, for example. Or notice what is your motive for not forgiving someone. Or notice what is your motive when you want to help.

And Notice If It’s Stressful

If something feels off to you about the motive you have running, then question it.

For example, a motive for buying flowers could be, “I want her to like me.” Or it could be “I want her to remember me.” There may be many motives. Why not question them all?

I Did A Lot of This When Training to Be a Facilitator

I’d notice when I said something to a client that wasn’t necessary. What was my motive? Often there was a motive to try to help the other person.

When I questioned this, I found that my clients didn’t need help. They were perfectly capable of helping themselves. In fact, they didn’t come for help. They came to be facilitated to find their own truth.

This set me free to simply be available to serve without the motive that I need to help. Less stress for me, and more empowering for my clients.

I Invite You to Try it Anywhere

Take a look in any situation whatsoever. Look at what you do. And ask yourself what’s my motive? What did you want to get? What were you afraid of losing? And question what you find using the four questions and turnarounds of The Work.

It can be a fascinating journey of self-exploration.

Learn more about how to do The Work of Byron Katie by taking my online course called The Work 101.

Have a great week,
Todd

“Who would you be without the thought that you need to make an impression?” — Byron Katie, I Need Your Love, Is That True?

Todd Smith has been doing The Work of Byron Katie on an almost daily basis since 2007. He is just as excited about this simple process of self-inquiry today as he was when he first came across it. He also enjoys writing about The Work, and training others in the subtleties of this meditative process. Join Todd for The Work 101 online course, private sessions, virtual retreats, and his ongoing Inquiry Circle group.