The Exclamation Point Turnaround is a Good Thing
This unusual turnaround is one of my favorites. You take the same exact words as your original stressful thought, put an exclamation point at the end of it, and add, “Yay! How is that a good thing?”
For example: “They spray painted our garage” becomes “They spray painted our garage! Yay! How is that a good thing?”
And you find your examples of how it could be true. Stuff like, “Yay! Now it’s much easier to give directions to our place!” Or “Yay! I was thinking of repainting it anyway. This will get me away from the computer.” Or “Yay! They didn’t burn it down.”
But There Are Times When the Exclamation Point Turnaround is Not So Useful
This turnaround works best for statements of fact or opinion. Not so much for advice, or statements of want or need.
When you look at a Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet (JYNW), your answers to lines 1 and 5 are usually where you’ll find statements of fact or opinion. And lines 2, 3, 4 are statement of want, advice, or need.
I usually try the exclamation point turnaround on lines 1 and 5.
And I don’t use the exclamation point turnaround for lines 2, 3, 4 and 6.
Examples from a JYNW
Line 1: I am shut down by him because he tells me what to do. The exclamation point turnaround usually works well for line 1. In this case, “He tells me what to do” becomes “He tells me what to do! Yay! How is that a good thing?” Very useful.
Line 2: I want him to accept my no. The exclamation point doesn’t usually work too well on line 2. In this case, “I want him to accept my no! Yay! How is that a good thing?” This doesn’t make much sense to me.
Line 3: He should listen to my opinion. Again, the exclamation point turnaround doesn’t work well here. The turnaround would be, “He should listen to my opinion! Yay! How is that a good thing?” It just doesn’t make sense to me.
Line 4: I need him to mind his own business. The exclamation point turnaround doesn’t fit here either. “I need him to mind his own business! Yay! How is that good thing?” It doesn’t yield anything very interesting for me.
Line 5: He is selfish, domineering, controlling. Here the exclamation point turnaround shines again. These are all statements of fact or opinion so the exclamation point turnaround works great. “He is selfish! Yay! How is that a good thing?” Or “He is domineering! Yay! How is that good thing?”
Line 6: I don’t ever want him to try and control me again. The exclamation point turnaround doesn’t make much sense here. “I don’t ever want him to try and control me again! Yay! How is that a good thing?” It just doesn’t make sense to me.
To Summarize
Lines 1 and 5 are the best place to use the exclamation point turnaround in my experience.
Lines 2, 3, 4, and 6 don’t work so well with the exclamation point turnaround for me.
But don’t take my word for it. Try it out yourself. You may find something that I’m not seeing.
And if you want more experience with trying out different turnarounds, join us for The Work 101 online course.
Have a great week,
Todd
“Wanting reality to be different than it is is hopeless. You can spend the rest of your life trying to teach a cat to bark.” Byron Katie, Loving What Is
