Do You Monitor Your Progress With The Work?
If you do, you’ve probably experienced the fluctuating emotions of fear, exhilaration, and exhaustion that come from it. One reader wrote me just last week about it.
He said, “I have sometimes this belief that the result after doing The Work should look a certain way. Like “enlightenment” should look this way. And I always compare my current situation with the past.”
I’ve done this too. And I’ve done it with other forms of meditation too. I remember one “peak” year I had in my early twenties. I was going to bed early every night and waking up feeling rested every morning. And I was having good experiences in meditation. Until my “winning streak” ended. And I fell into disappointment when life apparently slipped out of my control.
I have always compared my current state of “enlightenment,” or lack thereof, to that year. And everything has always fallen short of that lofty place in my mind.
This Is the Pain of Comparison
Enlightenment is a wonderful concept. But it can be a terrible concept when you use it to prove how ‘un-evolved” you are now. The problem with the concept of enlightenment is that it’s always “over there.”
It could be “over there” in a past experience. Or “over there” in some future version of yourself. Or “over there” in the form of another person you admire for their enlightenment.
And if you want to be “over there,” it can make being here seem very miserable. So just notice. Does the concept of enlightenment bring you peace or stress?
For Me Peace Is More Enlightened Than the Concept of Enlightenment
Thats why I don’t worry about enlightenment much anymore.
I figure it is God’s business whether I get enlightened or not. In the meantime, I’ve got plenty of business of my own to manage. And it might start with questioning, “That was my “peak” year, is that true?”
When I look at it from that point of view, it wasn’t all that perfect. My relationship with my mom that year was poor. I was very self-centered, and not integrated with society. I lost all my college friends. Hmm… nice to see the first glimpses of the balance side of that story. From that perspective I’m doing much better now actually.
How about you? How is your experience today as good, or better, than some past “peak” experience? As long as we’re comparing, let’s be objective about it, and look at both sides of the story. Could you be doing as well, or better today?
Have a great week,
Todd
“We are entering the dimension where we have control–the inside.” — Byron Katie, Loving What Is
