The Secret Un-Thankful List

More than than any other holiday, it is a time to get together with family. And a time to give thanks.

It’s common to go around the Thanksgiving table, each person saying what he or she is grateful for. Some standard answers are:

A wonderful family
Good food
Good health
A new job

But There’s A Secret List That’s Never Mentioned

I call it the un-thankful list.

You might call it your list of complaints.

And as we’re looking inwardly, going around the table, trying to find the things we’re most thankful for, we often have to sort through some items on the un-thankful list.

Losing a job
A new diagnosis
An ongoing sibling rivalry
Mom’s controlling side

But Being Ungrateful Is Not The Exercise

Today, on Thanksgiving, the exercise to find what we are grateful for. To focus on the good. To encourage it, and let it grow.

This is a powerful exercise. A turnaround of sorts, and an opportunity to see that life is actually pretty darned good in some respects, in spite of our complaints. It’s nice to let our attention land there for a moment and take it in.

After all, that’s what Thanksgiving is for.

But There’s More That We Can Do

If you’re like me, I’m not satisfied with just focusing on the positive. It’s nice. It’s warming to the heart. And I love to do it.

But the un-thankful list keeps bugging me. And I don’t know what do with it.

It feels wrong to stuff it down inside. And it feels wrong to bring it up and spread it all around. So what can be done with this pesky un-thankful list at Thanksgiving?

For Me, It’s A List To Put On Paper

Complaining and non-gratitude have a place. And for me, that place is on paper.

I complain on paper, and it doesn’t bother anyone. I complain on paper and my un-thankful list gets a chance to be heard. And because I like to do The Work of Byron Katie, this list not only gets heard, it gets worked.

Here’s My Un-Thankful List This Year

The format I use is:

I’m un-thankful for (or I complain about) ______ because _______.

I’m un-thankful for my back pain because it zaps my energy.

I’m un-thankful for my business because it’s growing too slowly.

I complain about the weather because the clouds are depressing.

From This List I’ve Got Three Items I Can Work

My back pain zaps my energy. Is that true?
My business is growing too slowly. Is that true?
The clouds are depressing. Is that true?

I’ll be curious to see if it will be easier to see the things I’m grateful for next time we go around the table, once I’ve questioned these complaints.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Todd

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