Where Is Your Ego Hiding? Here’s Where Mine’s Been Hanging Out
I love tinkering with my website. It’s kind of like the way some men tinker with automobiles. It brings a satisfaction to me.
But recently, I’ve been thinking a bit more about my overall strategy for my website on The Work. And I’ve been wrestling with how generous to be in sharing links to other sites about The Work.
My understanding in building websites has always been to keep visitors on a site once they get there. And to direct them to the things you offer, not to the competition.
But Something About This Doesn’t Feel Quite Right In This Case
Why have I been feeling uncomfortable rubbing shoulders with other facilitators? Or sharing my website with people who are familiar with The Work? Why have I felt more distant from Byron Katie in my mind?
When I thought about it, I realized that I had been viewing Katie as an obstacle to my own business. She has always encouraged non-competition among facilitators of The Work. And she has always invited us to recognize thework.com as the official website of The Work.
So I Wrote A Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet On Her
I was appalled to see the thoughts I put on paper. "What an ego," I thought. But I wrote them anyway. This is the raw mind on paper. Until I put those thoughts on paper and question them, knew I would continue to feel uncomfortable.
Here’s What I Wrote
I’m angry at Katie because she wants to retain strict control of The Work.
I want her to let me have my own website without reference to thework.com. I want her to stop hindering my progress. I want to be king of my own business.
She should trust me to present The Work in any way I feel is appropriate.
I need to be different. I need to prove that I am somebody.
She is controlling, hindering, greedy.
I don’t ever want to be told how to run my business again.
Just For The Record, Katie Never Told Me How To Run My Business
Never once. But those were my irrational thoughts.
I soon discovered that I was the greedy one. As I went through each concept I wrote down one-by-one, and did The Work on them, I uncovered a part of me that I had tried to keep hidden from myself. I discovered my ego.
I have been secretly wanting to be the one and only authority on The Work–at least in the world of my website. I have wanted strict control when people come to my website. And I have been trying to pretend that my website is an island by itself. So that I could be the "pretend" king of that "pretend" land.
No Wonder I Was Feeling Uncomfortable
This kind of thinking goes against my heart. My heart wants to include everyone. My heart wants to present a smorgasbord of everything that could be of value for people interested in The Work. My heart just wants to share its enthusiasm for The Work.
The Lengths That I Would Go To Be Somebody Are Amazing
I See A Living Turnaround In All This
Seeing my ego is just half the game. I see now that I’ve been giving myself more work, more stress, and limiting the experience of the visitors on my website because of my ego.
It’s time to turn that around. The next version of my website may not play by the typical business world’s rules for websites, but I’m about to make it a place where you can find all kinds of resources for The Work. I’m going to put links to Katie’s books on there. I’m going to put links to her YouTube videos. These are amazing resources.
And I’m going to encourage people to attend her workshops and teleconferences. And the workshops of other facilitators that I respect as well. In other words, I’m opening up my website to the world of The Work.
And It Doesn’t Mean That I Won’t Have My Own Things To Offer
I’m still writing my book, "Written Meditation: How To Do The Work On Your Own." It is taking longer than I anticipated, and will probably be ready in late spring or early summer next year.
I love offering facilitation service, and will continue to do so on my website. And I love to write this newsletter.
It is interesting how much nicer it feels to operate on the principle of inclusion, instead of exclusion. It resonates with the deeper part of me. And it makes me feel much freer to consider sharing my website with everyone.
Ironically, it could even be good for business too.
So I’ve Got Some Tinkering To Do
Todd Smith is a facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie. He loves to uncover new ways that his ego holds him back. And he enjoys supporting you to do the same. Are you willing to uncover what’s making you uncomfortable inside? It could be the very place your ego’s hanging out.
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